March 23, 2004


Man, stalkers are sort of frightening. Not in a afraid for my life sort of way, but in a "people are fucked up" sort of way. Why am I bringing this up? Well, I've got one. Here's some selected bits from the letter I got from the freaky stalking bitch yesterday:

Just a few things I want to say:
1. This is not an easy decision for me as far as sending this card. I have had it for 4-5 months (!!!) now. I hope you are flattered by it. I would be. I wonder how many stalkers she gets to be flattered by
2. I am not stalking you! Of course, how silly of me. Actually, I have your phone # and address written down. I have for a long time. I am sure you recall my call! And you were saying that you weren't stalking me, because having my phone number and address without me ever giving it to you isn't stalking. Right.
3. For whatever reason I cannot get you out of my head. Crazy comes to mind. I can only guess it's some rejection issue or something I have. I don't know. This is part of my attempt to take back control of my life. Alot has happened in the last year. What I hope to gain by this is to "let it go", whatever it is, or to be able to communicate with you via email. "It" was nothing. Nothing! Just some casual conversation in a game I was previewing so I could get a feel for it before signing off on it for Phoenix. Cripes! If those conversations were deep intimate moments then I shudder to think about how repressed the woman is in everyday life. The thought of my having to deal with this for the rest of my life is nauseating. Did I mention she's married, has a boatload of kids, and is almost ten years older than me? What the fuck is this this bullshit? Am I supposed to feel guilty? I'd forgotten completely about this little bookmark of weirdness until this letter popped up. If I'm going to have a stalker why can't I have someone that I'd consider taking advantage of?Even a "fuck you" is better than nothing!Consider this my public fuck you, to match the private one I thought was loud and clear when you invaded my privacy by stalking out my home phone number. I am sorry to over step my boundaries, it's selfish motivation on my part. Well, DUH

By the way, I hope this finds you...Anyway, I don't have your address with me, just memory.Back the fuck up, you've got my address memorized and I don't even know you? I am so fucking loading a gun and making sure that all my bunnies are safe. Jesus! I would really like to hear from you.

And then follows a nauseating plethora of ways and means to contact her, from every email imaginable to cell phone numbers and addresses. What is the world coming to?

Let's be clear, I know I'm pretty easily identifiable out here in cyberspace. But I'm a private person too, and I expect people to maintain boundaries unless it's really clear that there aren't any. People I know in the real world, you're all invited to look me up and call me up any time. People on the internet, randomly visiting or even if I have some conversations with, don't look me up and send me cookies or phone my on my birthday. It's too weird and it's unwanted. Seriously, I'm not even certain that if you're phenomenally hot and want to jump my bones so bad that your ankles are sticky it's cool. You want to send me email and ask if you can call me up, fine. Don't surprise me. I don't like surprises or secrets, because people being devious sets off my "load the guns" motivations. And for God's sakes women, if a guy tells you never call here again save your dignity and don't assume that you can make it better months down the line by sending snail mail. That's just stupid and pathetic and weak. I don't appreciate things like that from people I actually know and have had relationships with.


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