July 20, 2003

After Action Briefing: The Cookout

Well, it didn't do so badly. The food was good and the only slight hiccup came I think when I had to leave for a bit and my grandmother decided that Phoenix was being a little anti-social and went and claimed her. When I got back from the store with sodas and mustard she had her cornered on the couch explaining to her how much she loved her. I know she means well, but it was obvious that Phoenix was a bit distressed over it. My grandmother kept rambling on about buying Phoenix teacups when she was little and I was trying to deflect the conversation the whole time. Phoenix doesn't seem to be able or want to be able to remember much from the whole Biloxi-New Orleans-Antioch-Mike era, and I don't blame her even if she was a little young too. In any case she shouldn't be forced into trying to remember a time in her life that wasn't much fun, no matter how well intended it was meant. Thankfully my grandmother allowed herself to be sidetracked and blew off any resentment she had towards me. I really wish I knew how I did things like that.

I'm not sure if there is anyone who's stayed mad at me while I've had any time to be around them and they haven't just sulked away from me. Even Trina, who by all rights has had the king of reasons to stay pissed off at me, never seemed to be able to do it. Conversely, some people never allow themselves to ever feel comfortable around me and they stay irritated about it all the time like I'm a buzzing sound. It's a certain type of person that I haven't isolated the type yet, but there seems to be something about animal lovers/vegetarians that allows me to get under their skin. Maybe it's the whole "I'm not going to pander to your party line" thing I sometimes feel like I'm giving off. Vegetarians and animal lovers always seem to expect people to bow to them for superior choices or something sometimes, sort of like born again Christians. "You don't eat meat? That's great! I wish I could give up meat, but I've sinned too much and too badly. Tofu would never accept me back into the fold "

It's not even as if I care what people eat or if they love animals (ed. as long as they don't love their animals). I just don't like some of the attitude I guess. It's the same thing with homosexuals, if you get off on kissing guys that's fine - more desperate women for me. I just don't think that it's somehow needful to come out, suddenly change your heterosexual wardrobe for hotpants and dragwear, adopt a lisp, and get militant because your boss doesn't want you wearing lipstick while changing the customer's oil. What is with that? Excuse me, but if gays like dick and not chicks shouldn't they be a little put off by guys wearing dresses? Butch lesbian angle regardless, I've never been really inclined to rush out and lust over a woman because they've bought all their clothes in the men's section of the Truck Stop. It's things like that that make me a little bit convinced that it's just a different brain chemistry going on. 90% of the people you meet are wired so similarly that you could write the ticker feed text from their brains generically and just output it as needed from a common source. Maybe there is a god, and after those seven days of work he's basically abandoned most of us and spends his time recklessly playing with 10% like my brother used to electrical tape firecrackers to GI Joes. In the absence of reason, one must think insanities I guess.


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