Humor: A Joke

Bernie and his wife were going out to dinner to celebrate her forty-fifth birthday.

He says, "So, what would you like, Sarah? A Jaguar? A mink coat? A diamond necklace? A cruise?"

She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."

He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Unstoppable: Useless quote of the Day

This is my rifle.
There are many like it but this one is mine.
My rifle is my best friend
It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me my rifle is useless
Without my rifle I am useless.

Marines are fucking retarded. Seriously, no joke. How dumb do you have to be to storm a beach? Boys, that's not brave - that's moronic.