December 27, 2003

I'm back!

Tomorrow it will be 8 months of blogging. Man, it doesn't seem like that long but I guess time flies when you don't have many people around you to piss you off. So far we've all cringed at my bad poetry, my questionable humor, my music which is apparently an acquired taste, and the occassional pieces of digital art that I can bear to reduce to webpage palatable size. We're coming up on a new year, so what's next for the Unstoppable Force? I've been thinking about various ways I can go with this. I mean, it's fun to just keep going as is since nothing is really broke but on the other hand it would be nice to think about something new and juicy to do here in the coming year. What do you think folks? Should I open up the blog to new bloggers and share the wealth of my tremendously shallow blogging experience? More nude pictures of myself, perhaps wiggling around in a tub of butter? Should I stalk and kill a celebrity? Ideas! We need ideas, so don't restrain yourself and help me out. Send me ideas in the comments of this blog entry or by email to the left. Come on, be bold! If you think that my best move would be to see how many women I can step up to and french kiss before I serve a prison sentence or get a concussion, tell me! I am open to ideas. I am awash in expectation for your ideas. Give me your thoughts, think of it as charity for those of us who have few.

December 22, 2003

Merry Christmas

I'm off in a little while to go visit my family, so expect even fewer posts than usual for the next week or so. Hopefully I'll get back to regular updating after the New Year. I hope you all have a great, drunken fornicating time at Christmas.

"Dog guess us, nev'ry fun."

December 19, 2003


I've gotten a notion that I might be having too many bookmarks, I mean a whole hell of a lot more bookmarks than anyone has any decent reason to. So I checked it out, hopped into my Favorites folder and found that I have currently very nearly 1,200 bookmarks residing in my "Unsorted" folder. Some of these bookmarks end up being recycled and used in the blog, others are links to my various hobbies and perversions. I'm sure a heaping lot of them are dead links. It's not as if I don't go to some of them, even with the 10 or 20 places I go every day to check up on news and forums and blogs I still do a bit of blindly linking myself from that damned unsorted folder pretty regularly. Sometimes I get to play cute Flash games that I've forgotten about, other times I link myself to the various weird sites that I've hooked up with in the past. I'm a shameless internet junkie after all, my productivity would probably skyrocket if I kicked my habit because I've developed an addiction to writing and boldly frothing about whatever topic sits on my fancy at the moment. Right now I could be doing any number of things more important than blogging for instance, I've paintings to finish before the 25th and there's the matter of dinner that I haven't had as well. But I can't leave, or rather I don't want to. Even though intellectually I know that the weekend before Christmas most people are out there spending time with their families and children, aren't at work and won't be updating at the madcap pace that I've come to expect I still wait. I know that it's starvation from contact. My brother came over to have lunch with me this afternoon and it was the first time anyone besides myself had been in the house in almost a month I think. I wonder when I became this hermit, and I wonder if I became the hermit or it was just a natural consequence. I don't recall ever deciding to become a hermit, maybe everyone just moved away? Who knows. The fact is that holidays suck, because I collect things useless and valuable, yet have nothing to show for my life particularly except my collections. I don't have friends much anymore, I have correspondants. I'm poor and I'm losing all those great looks that used to bring hordes of women quivering to their knees in unwanted wimpering orgasms. Yeah, that's what I said: quivering. So, if you're out there and you're sad and pathetic also, or if you're just interested coming over to have a look at my weird bookmarks while I make you quiver...Well Merry Christmas motherfucker, if you know what I mean?

December 18, 2003

Terragen is a really cool program

My space available on Earthlink just doesn't allow big enough images to do this thing justice. I did this in ~30 minutes, including rendering time on my 700Mhz computer.

December 17, 2003

Christmas is coming!

Oh come all ye faithful, Christmas is the spirit that keeps on giving.

Wednesday is boring

Credit card pranks is pretty funny, it's something I've noticed all the time. My signature varies from being completely bonkers, as if I'd just finished 20 years of medical school, to being a neat scratch that most everyone recognizes as being extremely sexy.

December 16, 2003

The Buffalo Theory

I copied this from another site, so don't be getting any sly ideas that I'm a genius. I am, but I'm also a sneaky underhanded one.

In one episode of Cheers, Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this:

"Well you see, Norm, it's like this...A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the lowest weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

December 13, 2003

Ancient Secrets

I wonder, what could be revealed about my inner nature through the ancient art of penis reading? And is a penis reader still referred to as a palmist?


These glass adult novelties may be intended for use in pretty ugly places, but really I think I find them beautiful. Maybe I should start a collection, except they're pretty expensive. Maybe I should make a Chirstmas list with them on it and send it to my family?

December 11, 2003

Middle Earth Rap Sucks

Gollum Rap

December 09, 2003

This is the greatest thing ever

I'm friggin' serious. I am a complete moron on the "I want my stupid flash toy" scale, so this is the freakin' greatest thing I've EVER DONE. Yep, better than sex. I think. Who remembers? Anyways, play with it. Oh, and if you have sex or remember what sex was like you can tell me how right I am.

If sex is better than the virtual snowglobe, don't tell me. I might do something stupid and go off and have some more, and I'm pretty sure that it won't be as cool for me as it was for you. Got it?

December 05, 2003

Ok, it's funny but how bored did he have to be to learn this?

Ignore the foreign language obscurities and comments from the video's peanut gallery, this movie is self-explanatory once you know that it's two monkey's fucking. Oh yeah, and it's even reasonably safe at work - probably more so than actual monkeys fucking or my blog when I say the word fucking three times in an entry.

Joke to appease the public

Three condoms walk into a gay bar,
an hour later all three leave -
absolutely shitfaced.

Wow, that's almost a haiku...